Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
