On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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