Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
