This house was built for laser tag.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize