hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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