I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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