considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
