Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
