I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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