Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
