Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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