Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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