Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
