My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
