its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
