she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
