Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
