You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
