There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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