hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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