I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize