u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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