when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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