So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
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