I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
