Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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