You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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