She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Randomize
