Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I came so hard my ears popped.
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