you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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