Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
