guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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