This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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