Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
