I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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