I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
