Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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