She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I supernannyed him into submission
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
