I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
