Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
