Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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