There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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