absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
