I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
