Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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