hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
