is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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