You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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