actually, I'm a sock model
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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