the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
