Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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