you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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