At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
