i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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