I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
