I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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