Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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