Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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