I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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